To Him - Love Languages

I've never really thought much about this, but we cannot feel someone else's love. We can feel grateful or loving or joyful in response to something someone else says or does, but we are not actually feeling their love. We would have to be hosting their heart to do that. What does it mean then when we say we feel loved? It means we perceive that whatever that person has said or done is a demonstration of love.

Ahhh...here's where we can get bogged down very easily. Because what represents love to one person means nothing to the next. Maybe he brings home flowers, and she doesn't seem to care. Or maybe she gives him a warm hug, and he still acts distant.

Perhaps we are speaking two different love languages. We naturally want to show our love for others in terms that we understand as love. But the person we are trying to communicate our love to may not understand that love language, and so they don't perceive the act as loving at all. We think they are rejecting our expression of love, when in truth, it is as if we are speaking to them in a foreign language. They can't receive the message because it is not being communicated in a language they understand.

The five love languages include physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time and receiving gifts. If we are not aware of this, we may be giving gifts to express our love when what would really make the other feel loved would be a nice, warm hug. Or we may be cooking gourmet meals when all the other really wants is to hear how wonderful we think they are. It would save us a lot of heartache if we took the time to learn the love languages of others and to communicate our love to them in a way they understand.

If we help the other feel fully loved, we are going to experience a much more enjoyable relationship with them. Plus, we will have happier significant others. Happy people are much more pleasant to be around and their happiness contributes to an atmosphere of happiness wherever they go. It's a viral kind of thing.

Let's learn each other's languages, so that our love for one another is clearly and fully expressed, understood and received.