To Him

To Him - Why Do You Believe Whatever You Believe?

2010-06-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

One of the most important parts of my journey to better health was the challenging, and sometimes changing, of my beliefs. What you believe, and consequently what you think, determines your life experience. Even beliefs that result in pain are useful, at least for a while. They teach us what doesn't work. But once they have imparted their lesson, their usefulness has expired, and they become toxic.

I grew up in a religion that teaches unless you believe certain things, you will not get into heaven or God will not be pleased with you. It was considered heretical to believe otherwise. Pardon me, but that's pure BS.

God didn't give us a brain for us to allow others to do our thinking for us. So, when I began to understand that my life wasn't working because I wasn't working it, I paraded my entire belief system before my mind and challenged all of them. I understood that if a belief was worth keeping, it would stand the test.

Some of the beliefs that didn't work for me were there because somebody I trusted had told me they were facts. But why did they believe that what they were telling me was true? Often, because someone else they trusted had told them it was true.

Others were there because of my own experiences and observations. But how could I know they were true? In some cases, I could see that the manifestations of these beliefs and they withstood the challenge. In other cases, I could see that my perception may have been skewed by my own filters and baggage from my childhood when that belief was formed.

Here's the deal. If a belief is serving you and helping you live an abundant, joyful, loving life, then it is worth keeping. If it is destroying you, chipping away at your self-image, keeping you from joy and abundance, get rid of it. Why would you choose to keep drinking poison?

Do you think for one minute that a loving Creator would want you to believe anything that is destructive to you?

I used to believe in a God who was all about keeping certain rules. And I believed it when I was told there is only one right way to come to God. It never made sense, I just believed it because I believed in the people who were telling me it was true.

Now, I believe that our Creator wouldn't create a world full of people and favor certain ones or certain races. I believe that there our differences exist because our Creator is so infinite that there is no way God could be expressed in one or even a few types of people. I believe that there is no way God could ever be fully expressed, because "fully" implies a limit. And I believe that there are infinite ways to experience God, perhaps as many as there are expressions of God.

Many people fear opening their minds because they have been taught that if they don't follow certain beliefs or tenets that they will experience judgment and punishment. My question is, why would you love and serve a god who would give you a brain and then damn you eternally for using it and coming to a different conclusion than the next person?

Far be it from me to tell anyone what to believe. But why not at least test your beliefs to see if they are really true for you or if they are part of the problem in your life rather than the solution? What can it hurt to question a belief? If it is true, it will stand. If it is not, why would you want it to?

If you are someone who knows he can figure it out for himself, who doesn't need to be told or led in what to believe, and who isn't afraid of challenging his own beliefs, you may be Him. If you are Him, the Universe will bring us together in perfect time and order. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

To Him - Love Languages

2010-06-11T06:06:00.000-07:00

I've never really thought much about this, but we cannot feel someone else's love. We can feel grateful or loving or joyful in response to something someone else says or does, but we are not actually feeling their love. We would have to be hosting their heart to do that. What does it mean then when we say we feel loved? It means we perceive that whatever that person has said or done is a demonstration of love.

Ahhh...here's where we can get bogged down very easily. Because what represents love to one person means nothing to the next. Maybe he brings home flowers, and she doesn't seem to care. Or maybe she gives him a warm hug, and he still acts distant.

Perhaps we are speaking two different love languages. We naturally want to show our love for others in terms that we understand as love. But the person we are trying to communicate our love to may not understand that love language, and so they don't perceive the act as loving at all. We think they are rejecting our expression of love, when in truth, it is as if we are speaking to them in a foreign language. They can't receive the message because it is not being communicated in a language they understand.

The five love languages include physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time and receiving gifts. If we are not aware of this, we may be giving gifts to express our love when what would really make the other feel loved would be a nice, warm hug. Or we may be cooking gourmet meals when all the other really wants is to hear how wonderful we think they are. It would save us a lot of heartache if we took the time to learn the love languages of others and to communicate our love to them in a way they understand.

If we help the other feel fully loved, we are going to experience a much more enjoyable relationship with them. Plus, we will have happier significant others. Happy people are much more pleasant to be around and their happiness contributes to an atmosphere of happiness wherever they go. It's a viral kind of thing.

Let's learn each other's languages, so that our love for one another is clearly and fully expressed, understood and received.

To Him - Is It Really Necessary to Be Realistic?

2010-06-11T05:58:00.000-07:00

August 15, 2008

Is it REALLY necessary to be realistic?

Think about this. If everyone was realistic, nothing outstanding would ever be accomplished. Nothing is real until somebody makes it so.

At one point, it wasn't considered realistic to sail around the world. It wasn't considered realistic to fly. Many of the things that are now part of our everyday life were once science fiction.

Everyone who has ever done anything significant has had to deal with people who thought they were crazy, or at the very least, unrealistic.

So, what's wrong with being unrealistic? It's the people who aren't afraid to dream of what COULD be that bring to pass the innovations that make our lives easier and more enjoyable. There's a lot to be said for people who take things that are already in existence and make them better, but SOMEBODY had to be the visionary that made the impossible or the improbable REAL in the first place.

“There is no use trying, said Alice; one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

- Lewis Carroll

If you can see beyond what is to what could be, if you can envision a better world in some way, and if you can believe impossible things, you may be Him. It is not necessary to reply to this post. If you are Him, the Universe will bring us together in perfect time and order. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

To Him - Stories We Write, Roles We Play

2010-06-11T05:57:00.000-07:00

August 9, 2008

What story are you telling with your life? What roles have you decided to play in your own life story? What roles are you playing in the life stories of others? Are they still working for you?

Maybe you signed on to play the lonely spouse or the victim. Or maybe you took on the role of the one who always screws up, or the one who always loses, or the one who never gets the girl, or the one who never feels good enough no matter how outstanding your performance may be. Is that still working for you? Or have you outgrown those roles, and your story line is due for a change?

Maybe there are stories in which you will always play some part. You share some kind of life-long bond with that storyteller, perhaps as a parent or in some other blood relationship. But if the events of that story deplete your life force and detract from your health, joy, satisfaction or success, perhaps it's best to play only bit parts in that particular story.

My life story began as a tragedy. The first few years of my life were spent navigating dangerous territory, both physically and emotionally. The next thirty years were spent surviving. Yes, I was a survivor. But that was a deeply dissatisfying place to be. Try being passionate and expressive, but locking that up inside because you think you have to fit into the roles others have written for you.

It wasn't until I experienced an emotional "rock bottom" that I was able to move past survival. I was so done with surviving. It was such a bland existence, and I craved flavor and texture and color, fragrance and harmony and delight. I decided at that point that I wasn't going to survive any longer. It had to end right there and then. A part of me died there, but in the end, Life won. Love revived all that was real and genuine and loving. I didn't lose anything worth keeping.

I am still learning to flesh out my decision to live the fullest, most joyful, most passionate and adventurous life possible, and part of that is re-writing my life story as an adventure/inspiration/romance/comedy. Some of the roles I once played no longer fit my story line. I gave most of them up. Some of the people who played supporting roles in my story of tragedy and pain were out of place in my passionate, joyful version. I let go of the ones I could and relegated most of the others to bit parts. I still have some editing and rewriting to do.

What about your life story? Are changes needed in your story line? Are there characters you need to write out of your story or relegate to smaller roles? Are there stories you need to be recast in or written out of because you no longer fit the roles those storytellers have created for you? It's your life. It's your story. It's your choice.

If you are ready to accept responsibility for writing your life story exactly as you want it, and through with diminishing your own power by blaming others, you may be Him. It is not necessary to reply to this post. If you are Him, the Universe will bring us together in perfect time and order. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

Yes

2010-01-24T17:10:00.001-08:00

I feel you.

Beloved

2009-11-30T21:34:00.000-08:00

I felt your sweet, hot presence all through my being all through the night. As good as our energetic play feels, I get impatient for your touch in the physical realm. I'm not sure you know who I am.

But even when I feel impatient, I tend to practice patience. The sweet taste of tree-ripened fruit is well worth waiting for.

Don't keep me waiting too long.

Let's Make a Deal ;-)

2009-11-16T10:07:00.000-08:00

What is my relationship intention?

I desire a passionate, intimate, loving relationship, not necessarily leading to marriage, enduring as long as it continues to support growth, healing, expansion, ecstasy and joy for both of us. I'm not sure how I feel about marriage at this point, as I've seen how it can become a prison instead of a sacred space.

What am I dying to give? I just so wish someone wanted this from me and would value it highly.

Touch (hugs, massage and more ;-)
Words of affirmation, appreciation and encouragement
Insight
An intimate, passionate, omni-dimensional, transcendent love and sexual connection
Inspiration - I want to stimulate Him sexually, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and creatively
I want to be the sacred space in which He feels safe to explore, express and heal

What do I need from a partner (as in, I would be unhappy without this)? What would I be so thrilled that someone would be willing to give this to me?

An intimate, passionate, omni-dimensional, transcendent love and sexual connection
Touch (hugging, cuddling and more)
Want me, and make it known
Stimulating conversation
Laughter
A willingness to explore with me
Open communication
A willingness to hold sacred space for me to be, become and heal
Honesty - if at any time it's not working for you, don't withdraw, man up

I've been working on my deal breakers, and I have alluded to a lot of them in previous posts. Here is a pretty good list:

Unable or unwilling to accept me as I am, and I am quirky. Growth is change, but if you are trying to change me, in my view, you are not loving me, but you are loving some fantasy of what you think I ought to be. If you can't drop your expectations and judgments and love what is, kindly let me go.
If I scare you - if I have to hold back from expressing what I am really thinking or feeling because you can't handle the truth. I'm not even sure I can do that any more, at least not for long.
If you don't enjoy touch and sensual experiences outside of sex. I love to give massage and hugs. It's a fundamental aspect of who I am.
Unwilling to explore tantra or other sacred sexuality practices. I don't care about freaky sexual positions or performances, but I do want to share an omni-dimensional, transcendent connection - body, soul, mind, spirit, All - that empowers both of us to expand our awareness of who we really are, and to realize our creative potential.
Lack of desire for me. No. Unh unh. I want to be wanted.
If you are dependent and clingy, that's not going to fit. I need my personal space and solitude.
If you are secretive and uncommunicative, it won't work for me. Everyone is entitled to privacy. But if you withhold information that could have an effect on me, I'm not cool with that. Or, if you won't let me in and let me get to know you. I'm an open book, and I want to know you, too, deeply and intimately.
Along with the secretive thing goes lying. No deal.
Being pushy or demanding. Don't try to grab a lioness. It won't end well.
Religious fanatic. No deal. I am spiritual, but dogma is repulsive to me.
Alcohol or drug abuse. Hell, no! I drink occasionally, but I've had enough dysfunction in my life experience to last several lifetimes. So, I repeat, Hell, no!
Unwillingness to work through and explore the stuff that comes up for either of us in the healing process. Life and love are spiritual practice, in my view, and part of that practice is healing, and part of healing involves stuff coming up that needs to be healed. It's not always pretty. In fact, it can get downright scary.
Expecting me to read your mind. If you want something, say so. If you love me and you want me, express it. My psychic skills just aren't that developed, and even if they were, I'd still want to hear it from you.

Okay. I showed you mine. Now, show me yours. ;-)

Love University

2009-10-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

I realized a couple things over the past couple days:

One is that some of the things I have said I wanted in a lover are really things I want in myself. For instance, what does it matter if my lover likes to travel? I can travel on my own. It brings to mind the ridiculous song lyrics, "You don't bring me flowers any more," to which I say, "Stop whining and get yourself some effing flowers if you want them."

Another thing I realized is that there are very good reasons that a couple attempts I made at creating relationships fell flat over the past couple years. One is that I honor who I am much too highly to objectify my body. If I can't penetrate your heart and your soul, and you are not interested in penetrating my heart and soul, you don't get to penetrate my body. It's that simple. No one gets to split me into factions and take just the parts they want. Take all of me, or none. That's the deal, in the arena of love. And I also realized that those relationships, if they had happened, would have been just more settling, and my soul won't settle for settling any more. I am now creating what I really want and I intend to live my heaven on earth.

Call it Love University, baby, sister school to Life University. And I'm working on my Masters degree.

Care to Live Dangerously?

2009-01-16T12:33:00.000-08:00

If you think it's easy to be with a goddess, even a love goddess, think again. Don't go anywhere near her unless you are willing to risk transformation.

She will test your courage, your strength, your resolve. She will challenge everything you believe about yourself and about love. She will command truth and facilitate the dropping of masks, beliefs and concepts that you have long held dear.

Love isn't easy, because genuine love results in transformation. Well, it could be easy, provided we were willing to let go of the forms we have attached ourselves to. We rarely let them go easily, at least in the beginning. In the beginning of a transformation phase, we usually hold tightly to that which is familiar, no matter how miserable it has made us up until now. Only when we tire of suffering and struggling do we willingly let go.

So, go ahead, live dangerously. Jump into love with both feet. Surrender.

Or continue cowering in fear, heart and mind closed to the glory and ecstasy that await you beyond the transformation. It's your choice.

Things You Could Do To Turn Me Off Completely

2009-01-15T14:04:00.000-08:00

It would be much simpler to just say, "Goodbye". But if you are not mature enough to do so, here are some things you could do to make me want to say it for you.

1. Show little or no interest in touching any part of me that is not considered part of the sexual anatomy.

2. Behave in ways that cause me to feel that you think of sex or relationships in terms of fair trade agreements. I'll do this for you in the hopes that you'll do that for me. If you can't give your love freely, as a gift, unconditionally, then, no thanks. I'll pass.

3. Hurry. This causes me to feel that you want to get it over with.

4. Be goal-seeking in sex. If all I wanted was an orgasm, I wouldn't need you at all. I want to feel loved and nurtured, emotionally and spiritually connected as well as physically connected.

5. Treat me as a goal that has been reached. If you think that once we have connected, there is no further need to communicate or to woo one another, move on. Being taken for granted does nothing to entice me at all. Seduction is part of the fun.

So, here's the thing. I love pleasure as much as the next woman, probably more. But I only see physical pleasure as part of a rich and full connection. Pleasure can be a vehicle to ecstasy, but it's not the whole journey. Don't take me half the way. I want it all, or nothing at all.

Don't Steal From Me

2008-12-17T04:24:00.000-08:00

I tried to explain to my friend yesterday why I won't accept less than a soul connection. Then this morning, I had a flash of insight that explained it beautifully.

When a man comes to a woman in love, whether it is a long-term relationship or not, he enriches her. However, when a man comes to a woman in greed, shutting her out of his heart, even if he pushes all the right buttons to "satisfy" her, he steals from her very soul.

That is because a woman surrenders not only her body, but also her heart and her soul in the act of lovemaking. It's a package deal.

If you don't believe me, take a look at women who have been trading sex for money for several years. You can see on their faces that their souls are emaciated.

Wild Love Quotes by Tom Robbins - Yummmmmm

2008-10-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.” - Tom Robbins

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” - Tom Robbins

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.” - Tom Robbins

“Our Similarities bring us to a common ground; Our Differences allow us to be fascinated by each other” - Tom Robbins

“When two people meet and fall in love, there's a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally present then. We tend to feed on that gratuitous magic without striving to make any more. One day we wake up and find that the magic is gone. We hustle to get it back, but by then it's usually too late, we've used it up. What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It's hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.” - Tom Robbins

What I Want, In a Nutshell

2008-10-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

Someone who understands that two people interact with one another's souls through one another's bodies. The body is just the vehicle for the soul to experience life.

I want something in between hooking up and being imprisoned by a relationship. I don't want to just use someone or be used, and I don't want someone to think they own my life because we care about each other.

It seems to me that most people who say they want "friends with benefits" usually just want benefits. They don't really want to be drawn into caring about the person.

Culturally we have been conditioned to think that love and attachment are the same thing. I think it's one reason why so many people hold back in relationships. There would be less fear of loving if people could enjoy loving and receiving love and appreciate love without demanding that it remain.

I think it is possible, though it probably happens only rarely, to love someone and yet hold on with an open hand. If it has ever been created by anyone, then it can be created by anyone who really wants it. It would be worth trying, anyway.

To Him - Yeah, Baby - That's What I'M Talking About

2008-08-30T14:16:00.000-07:00

The Circle of Mahamudra by Osho

Sex holds great secrets in it, and the first secret is--if you meditate you will see it--that joy comes because sex disappears. And whenever you are in that moment of joy, time also disappears--if you meditate on it--the mind also disappears. And these are the qualities of meditation.

My own observation is that the first glimpse of meditation in the world must have come through sex; there is no other way. Meditation must have entered into life through sex, because this is the most meditative phenomenon--if you understand it, if you go deep into it, if you just don't use it like a drug. Then slowly, slowly, as more understanding grows, the hankering disappears, and one day comes of great freedom when sex no longer haunts you. Then one is quiet, silent, utterly oneself. The need for the other has disappeared. One can still make love if one chooses to, but there is no need. Then it will be a kind of sharing.

When two lovers are in deep sexual orgasm, they melt into each other; then the woman is no longer the woman, the man is no longer the man. They become just like the circle of yin and yang, reaching into each other, meeting in each other, melting, their own identities forgotten. That's why love is so beautiful. This state is called mudra; this state of deep, orgasmic intercourse is called mudra. And the final state of orgasm with the whole is called Mahamudra, the great orgasm.

Orgasm is a state where your body no longer is felt as matter; it vibrates like energy, electricity. It vibrates so deeply, from the very foundation, that you completely forget that it is a material thing. It becomes an electric phenomenon--and it is an electric phenomenon. Now physicists say that there is no matter, that all matter is only appearance; deep down, that which exists is elec-tricity, not matter. In orgasm, you come to this deepest layer of your body where matter no longer exists, just energy waves; you become a dancing energy, vibrating. No more any boundaries to you--pulsating, but no longer substantial. And your beloved also pulsates.

And by and by, if the partners love each other and they surrender to each other, they surrender to this moment of pulsation, of vibration, of being energy, and they are not scared.... Because it is death-like when the body loses boundaries, when the body becomes like a vaporous thing, when the body evaporates substantially and only energy is left, a very subtle rhythm, but you find yourself as if you are not. Only in deep love can one move into it.

Love is like death: you die as far as your material image is concerned, you die as far as you think you are a body; you die as a body and you evolve as energy, vital energy. And when the wife and the husband, or the lovers, or the partners, start vibrating in a rhythm, their heartbeats and their bodies come together, it becomes a harmony--then orgasm happens, then they are no longer two. That is the symbol of yin and yang: yin moving into yang, yang moving into yin; man moving into the woman, the woman moving into the man. Now they are a circle and they vibrate together, they pulsate together. Their hearts are no longer separate, their beats are no longer separate; they have become a melody, a harmony.

It is the greatest music possible; all other musics are just faint things compared to it, shadow things compared to it. This vibration of two as one is orgasm. When the same thing happens, not with another person, but with the whole existence, then it is Mahamudra, then it is the great orgasm.

To Him - Don't Bring Me Flowers...Unless...

2008-08-28T14:35:00.000-07:00

I love spring! So many things about spring delight the senses. I am thoroughly enjoying the wildflower bouquets along the highway.

By the way, a word of advice to my gentleman friends. Don't treat your lady like crap and then send her flowers. Flowers are only meaningful when they are backed up by loving behavior. And I'm not just talking about make-up sex.

It's about how you treat her in the kitchen, and in the living room. Okay, I am still not talking about make-up sex. :-)

I'm talking about really listening to her, honoring her opinions, even if you can't agree with them, encouraging her to follow her dreams and supporting her in her pursuits...in short, honoring her as you would like to be honored, or better yet, as she would like to be honored.

Okay, maybe it seems like I am picking on the guys, but I am pretty open about my own faults. And I am always willing to listen to the other side of the story.

Anything that increases understanding on both sides works for me. And don't worry about destroying the mystique, because just about the time you think you have us ladies figured out, we will change our minds. :-)

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." I don't know who said that, but it just about sums it up, wouldn't you say?

If you are a man who realizes that a relationship is built and grows strong in the daily loving treatment of the loved one, and that no amount of flowers or candy can make up for the lack of said loving treatment, you may be Him. If you are Him, the Universe will bring us together in perfect time and order. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

To Him - I Don't Want to be Your Everything

2008-08-28T14:29:00.000-07:00

"I want to be your everything." I've heard that theme recurringly in songs and sonnets, and I always thought it was a romantic idea. But I've changed my mind.

For one thing, I came to understand quite some time ago that it is not possible for one person to meet all our needs. This is one reason why so many romantic partnerships fail. We look to one person to be our all in all, and they are only one person. Eventually, they feel drained from being expected to fill our every need and grow weary of feeling like a failure for not being able to fulfill all of our expectations.

On the flip side of that coin, one person cannot be expected to receive all that we have to give, especially if we are deeply connected with who we really are. We may have so much to give that we overwhelm a person in our efforts to give them our all. They may have the capacity of a gallon container and we have ten gallons to give away, and they find themselves drowning in the flood of our generosity.

I wonder how many relationships are destroyed for this very reason.

It's a good reason for us to cultivate a variety of relationships in which we can give our love away. I am not talking about promiscuity. There are many different ways to give our love away. Everything from giving someone a hug to doing volunteer work to sending someone a note of encouragement.

Let's not try to be everything to anybody, and let's not expect anyone to be our everything. Let's live love with everyone we are blessed to associate with, and be open to receive love from all.

Are you with me? Alright then, let's do it.

If you are someone who enjoys a variety of relationships, who doesn't feel the need to be all things to anyone, and who doesn't expect another to be all things to him, you may be Him. If you are Him, the Universe will bring us together in perfect time and order. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

To Him - Is it Really Safe to Play it Safe?

2008-08-28T14:11:00.000-07:00

"Better resolve to win thy heart's desire,
and striving bravely die in the endeavor
than to have the embers of some smothered fire,
lie smoldering in thy saddened soul forever."

I love that! I don't know who wrote it, but I love it.

We think life will be secure if we just play it safe, but will it? There is nothing to guarantee that if we follow all the rules and avoid all risk, we won't lose our job, our lover, or anything else we think we possess just the same.

When we look back on our lives, do we want to say, "I'm glad I did" or "I wish I had"?

Who wants embers? Bring on the flames.

If you are someone who is done with playing it safe, who is ready to approach life as an adventure, you may be Him. It is not necessary to reply. If you are Him, the Universe will bring us together in perfect time and order. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

To Him - I Will, I Won't

2008-08-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

I won't be another notch in your belt, but I will be fuel for your fire.

I won't be your caregiver, but I will be the lover that nurtures your heart, your body, your soul, your spirit.

I won't be your "little woman", but I will be the real woman who serves alongside you and together with you.

I will not settle for ordinary sex. I want lovemaking that touches and thrills every dimension of my being - my body, oh, yes, but also my heart, my soul and my spirit.

What I want from Him: I want Him to want me and to make me aware that He does. Oh yes,I want Him to want my body, my magic touch, my warm, tender, juicy loving, AND I also want Him to want my soul, my presence, my companionship, my Being.

I want a love relationship in which we desire to be together always, but we both know we can live without one another. In this kind of relationship, nothing is taken for granted. Everything that is given to and received from the lover is recognized and appreciated as a gift, not an obligation.

We take forever one moment at a time, knowing that everything is temporary and must be appreciated and cared for in order for it to grow and to thrive. Unlike the movies, where "happily ever after" is the ending, we recognize that the only way to live "happily ever after" is to string together a continuous succession of "happily right now" moments.

If you can appreciate the magic and power of now, and can take forever one moment at a time and can love a real woman on every level of her being, you may be Him. If you are Him, the Universe will bring us together in perfect time and perfect order. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

To Him - Our Relationship

2008-08-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

I now enjoy a conscious, expansive, passionate, intimate, romantic, loving, fun, blissful, ecstatic and mutually supportive love relationship. We are dynamically balanced and in harmony in our giving and receiving. My whole self loves and desires him just as he is and his whole self loves and desires me just as I am.

My lover is happy to simply hold and touch me when that is what I desire. At other times, he explores my body as if it were a treasure map to my heart and my soul. He kisses my spirit and touches my soul through the medium of my body. Everything that I give to him is exactly what he desires. Everything that he gives to me is exactly what I desire.

The rest is still unwritten, in the words of Natasha Beddingfield. :-)

To Him - My Description of You and Us

2008-08-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

I am now attracting a man who is honest, sincere, loyal, strong, spiritual, patient, loving, fun, peaceful, happy, prosperous, expressive, demonstrative, teachable, confident, compassionate, present, consciously aware and interesting.

Warmth and laughter are evident in his eyes. Whenever we are together, we are fully present to one another and enjoy one another's presence.

We bring out the best in one another. New talents are revealed in both of us. We expand one another's capacity to love and serve. The world is a better place because of our relationship.

He is fun-loving. He values family and honors my values.

He is happy to take our relationship one moment at a time, and is committed to the highest good for both of us.

We share enough interests to keep our relationship companionable, with enough differences to keep it interesting.

He is a delicious blend of soulfulness, creativity, intelligence and humor.

We are irresistibly attracted to one another. He loves to touch and cuddle as much as I do. Just looking into one another's eyes is pure joy.

Our romantic and sex life together remains conscious, unhurried, fresh, interesting, fun, exciting and ecstatic. We share love, light, peace, joy and pleasure. We discover a completely new dimension of extremely loving and fulfilling sexuality together.

At times, we find complete satisfaction simply lying together and holding one another. We enjoy stimulating conversation, and we are also able to enjoy quietness together. Our love is so strong that words are not always needed. When we do speak, our words are loving and edifying.

We stimulate, enjoy and fulfill one another mentally, spiritually, sexually and creatively.

The more we open up to one another, the more it is obvious that we are a complete match. There is no jealousy, and we create no pain in our relationship.

We care for one another and we are happy together while honoring our own and one another's needs, personality and path. We respect one another's freedom and need for space and solitude.

This is a divine union because it is divine love functioning through someone with whom I blend perfectly.

I know He wants me and I want Him. Divine Intelligence knows where this man is and is now bringing us together.

And so it is.

To Him - My Birthday Present

2008-08-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

August 12, 2008

Yesterday was my birthday! And I figured out the perfect birthday gift to give myself. I took the time to figure out what I want to give a lover and what I want to receive from a lover. I discovered they are pretty much the same things.

Love is what I want to give and receive, of course, and love is not a feeling. It is an act, or rather, a practice. In order for our love to be experienced by another person, it must be expressed in a manner that is meaningful to that person.

For me, I want to express love and receive love in the following forms: touch, pleasure, ecstasy, loving words, fun activities, meaningful conversations, attention, quality time, the knowledge that I am desired and wanted (not only sexually, but also wanted for who I am), and support for one another’s goals, dreams and growth. I would like for each of us to have our own dreams and goals, and for us to walk our separate paths together.

The point is, I have decided to give myself the things I want to share with a lover (well, most of them :-). The rationale for this is that in doing so, I will be able to come to love from a position of wholeness, rather than of need. If I am whole and complete already, I don’t need Him to fill me up. I become undisappointable. (I know. I made up another word. :-)

I believe that two people can support each other without being a main pillar in one another’s structures. My structure should stand just as strong whether He stays or goes, and His should do likewise. I believe in holding the lover with an open hand. Now, I know that is much easier to say than to practice, but if we can hold the lover with an open hand, then if they find that they need to move on, they won’t have to pry themselves from our clutching, bleeding fingers to do so.

If He wants to go out for a night with the boys, I am mature enough to be able to figure out something to do that I will enjoy. He shouldn’t have to coddle me, and I shouldn’t have to coddle Him. If I want to go out with my friends, I want to know He can take care of Himself. Two people can depend on each other without being dependent.

If you are whole and complete, you don’t need to be taken care of, and yet you want to share your journey with someone else who recognizes her completeness, you may be Him. It is not necessary to reply to this post. If you are Him, the Universe will bring us together in perfect time and order. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

To Him - I Love You

2008-08-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

August 4, 2008

I Love You

"I love you, not only for what you are,
but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself,
but for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out;
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart
and passing over all the foolish, weak things
that you can't help dimly seeing there,
and for drawing out into the light
all the beautiful belongings
that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.
I love you because you are helping me
to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern, but a temple;
out of the works of my every day not a reproach, but a song.
I love you because you have done more
than any creed could have done to make me good,
and more than any fate could have done to make me happy.
You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign.
You have done it by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all." - Roy Croft

I look forward to us being this kind of friend for one another.

Please do not reply by e-mail. If you are Him, the universe will bring us together in perfect order and perfect time. If you cannot trust this, you are not Him.

To Him - The Beginning

2008-08-19T11:18:00.000-07:00

I am aware of you. I can feel you in my heart, my soul, my body. At times, I think I have discovered you.

Not that I am searching. I tried searching. It didn't really get me anywhere I wanted to be.

Instead, I am opening. I am inviting. I am allowing, or at least I am working toward allowing.

I know that you are love, and that all love emanates from One Source, and that Source is flowing love to me. I have only to receive.

I know that because you are love, I can trust you with my heart. And I know that I still won't find it easy to trust.

You will have to be up for a challenge, because I guarantee I will be one. But if you can handle it, you will be soooo rewarded.

I won't play games when it comes to matters of the heart. I don't do competition in love. Don't make me wonder whether you want me or not, because if I have to wonder, I will believe you don't.

I know that we are not really separate. You are within me and I am within you.

And I know that when you come to me, time will disappear. Your love will be worth waiting for.

And the love we make will be heaven on earth.

And so it is.

Please do not e-mail. If you are Him, the universe will bring us together in perfect order and perfect time. If you can't trust this, you are not Him.